Okay, haven’t wrote in a while so I guess now it’s time for an update.
Let’s see…I’m now on a weight loss program that really works, so far as I checked, I’ve lost about 15-18 lbs. I can fit into my old jeans, but they are now getting baggy…which is….SO AWESOME!!!!!! Okay anyways….
I’ve been watching “The Tudors” lately because no only is it interesting, but I LOVE Jonathan Rhys Meyers!!!!!!!! He’s is so hawt! He played in August Rush as the musician and father. He’s my background on my computer. ^_^ Talk about make me smile! If a man like him walked into my life, I’d be all “I’m yours.” And he’s Irish too! *squeals*
My best friend’s b-day was yesterday, she just turned 18. I bet she’s happy. She just graduated too, and she got a cell phone as a present. I just hope she takes everything at her own pace and makes sure she doesn’t rush into things, even though she’s 18 now and she’s an adult, I just hope she goes into being an adult at her own pace. Everyone wants to grow up, but when they grow up, they notice that they spent their childhood trying to be grown up and now we realize that we should’ve acted like kids and had fun more instead of doing the adult thing. I miss her, she wants to plan a trip to Japan and wants to take me, lol! I can just imagine us there! There is going to be alot of oo’s and ah’s. LMAO!!!
But my other best friend is now avoiding me at all costs! And he knows who he is! Let’s just say that some shit started about us the last time we saw eachother down at his house and now because of that, he won’t even talk to me. I know all about the “true friends” and stuff. I just wish that we can keep a stable relationship without anyone starting shit or just curious about what really happened and especially asking him cause he takes everything too seriously! And I have to pay the consequences! AND IT’S NOT FAIR!!!! I just wanted everyone to know that I don’t appreciate when they get involved with us, so what if we had a romantic wild relationship in the past *okay, not so what….I take that back…* But anyways, if we’re hanging out, leave us alone and don’t call on us! Every time we’re together, someone has to bother us, whether it’s my family or his. Even if they don’t mean to, I wish I had time with him and only him. I don’t see him often and he’s like the best # 1 guy friend I have! Everyone may talk shit about him, but I won’t be the one talking shit, I’d be the one defending him, sure everyone has their bad qualities, but I’ve seen other qualities in him that I’ve seen with my own 2 eyes more than once. Call me mean if you think that I am, but for 5 years I’ve been there for him at his side hearing his story. Well that’s all about him then, I didn’t think I’d go and rant…oh well, I’m leaving it! LOL.
We went to best buy today in Johnson City and I saw the laptop I wanted and one of the Geek Squad guys come up to me and I was freaking out because my laptop was there and I was touching it, I could have it…and then he says “You know we have those in stock” and I’m like “Don’t tell me that! I don’t have the money to get this! Don’t raise my hopes just to crush them!” And he just burst out laughing! He told that I could do the payment’s for it, but I’d have to have the best buy credit card in order to so. And that is something I don’t I want a have. Sure, building up good credit and all, but no thank you. So then he told me he’d leave me there to dream about the laptop. After 5 minutes I pryed myself away and looked around and I saw that they had the XBOX version of guitar hero 3. I started playing it, *it was weird, the whammy bar was small and the buttons were closer together* But I started playing a song and same guy walks up to me and says “Don’t tell me you found something else you want but can’t have?” I just plain out told him that I had it on PS2, he told me he wasn’t much for the PS2, and I told him I wasn’t much for the XBOX. He asks why am I playing it then and I told him there was nothing better to do. He then started watching me and said I was good but he then pointed out that I was playing on medium mode. I looked at him like “So?” And told me that he can play hard mode. I paused the game and looked at him and said “You’re a freak!” “No I’m not!” “Here I am playing medium mode, barely getting by and I can’t let alone get any hard notes in practice slow mode!” He started laughing and told me practice makes perfect and tried to show me what the best way to hold the guitar in hard mode. I silently told him “I thank you for showing me that, but I’ve already tried that way and it doesn’t work! My fingers get all screwed up and everything!” He just kept grinning and laughing! And he played a song on hard mode, an boy…he was good….really put down my confidence. I told him that too, and he apologized but said that he had to show off and he wanted the last laugh. I was so pissed. But later on when I came home I told my mom and room mate what happened only to have them tell me he was flirting with me pretty strong. I look back now and see it, but at the time I was arguing! LMAO!!!! Now that was a pretty funny day!
I also a while back got Guitar Hero 2 because I played it at my best friend’s house *the dude who is avoiding me* So I went and got that game and I played his favorite song on medium mode constantly because I was pissed and it had a good beat and it was fast! It’s called “Jordan” My high score so far is like 161,367 I think, and I made golden stars on it because I played it so damn much and I knew all the verses by heart! LMAO!!! But it’s my favorite stress reliever song now. ^_^ And then there was his sister’s fav. song, “Less Talk More Rokk” she got me addicted to that damn song! I play it at least 2x a day *on average*, my high score is like 201,584 I think * i remember the 201* and I made golden stars on that too on medium mode too. I tried to play those 2 songs on easy mode and easy mode screwed me up so bad! I just said screw it and went back to playing medium mode. LOL!
Well I think that’s all to really talk about for now. I’ll blog ya’ll later! Bye! ^_^

Manga Chick

Wow…let’s see…
Well I just got back from a trip up North to see my grandparents and such. I had fun. Took some cool pictures. I wish I was able to do more and I wish I had more time to do what I wanted, but things like that happen and life goes on.
My room mate is going to a boarding school next week. It’ll do her good. And she’s supposedly happy about it.
Lately I’ve been spending most of my time laying Guitar Hero 3, watching movies, cleaning my room, re-arranging my room, going to school, doctor’s appointments, drawing and eating and sleeping. I’m just so bored with life. I don’t know how to explain it. Nothing phases me that much anymore. My room mate says that I’m in a “natural high state” of mind 24/7. I think it’s cool, but I’m not proud of it. I also need to take better care of myself as a person and state my opinions more often and not be scared and hesitant. In order to receive love, I have to love myself first. I don’t really love myself, in fact I don’t really remember a time when I felt like patting myself on the back. I know that sounds depressing and to tell the truth, I’m not really depressed at all. It may seem like it, probably because I’m in my room alot, I don’t have a job, I have finished my GED yet, haven’t got a car or license for that matter, my body looks terrible… It’s funny you know…this year I’m turning 19 and 10 years ago I thought that I’d have my whole life be something out of a story book *haven’t we all?” But I mean, I imagined having a great body, with beauty and smarts and riches galore and sure I may be pretty and I may be smart. I don’t got the money though. I always thought I would turn into a preppy chick who wears a size 8-12 and has all of these friends to hang out with everyday. And I’m sitting here wondering, where did it go wrong? Well for one, I was severely depressed as a pre teen and I just ate away because I was a depressed. I miss being a size 14. I always told myself I’d regret eating that extra one later. I also don’t have the many friends because when I was 12 I dropped out 6th grade and I was home schooled in 2 or 3 subjects. And I sometimes blame the teachers for that *which they are to blame for not teaching me properly at all*, but also because I didn’t want to go the distance. I dropped out because I gave up. I had to re-take a math test that I made a 7 on that I took once before before that and the score just got worse and worse. I just packed my stuff up and said that’s it. I kinda wish I stayed, cause I’ll never know what high school life was like or go to the prom. I always thought my life would be extremely stable at this point, that I would stop traveling, have the greatest boyfriend in the world, my parents would always be together, everything would just fall into my hands, but life goes on. Life is a dream, I want to live in the now, not the could’ve been. But I regret a whole lot and I can’t help but wonder what I could’ve done to prevent that. There is a line between fantasy and reality. I’ve always known that, but when I’m alone all I can think of is stories and what if’s and just make believe. I don’t want to live like that. But I can’t help but seem to keep wondering off and having a blast in my mind. I’m afraid I’m going to be some crazy person who lives in their dreams and doesn’t experience life. Another reason why I love reading, it gets me out of the world. I don’t know…I have to love and respect myself a whole lot better, but when you look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day who is that you actually see? When you go to bed at night, who’s there with you? For me, in the mirror, I don’t really see myself but just a reflection of someone else. At night, for me…I’m alone with no one to hold. I don’t know I’m ranting on about stuff again. I’ve just always though of everyone else before me alot…like when my mom gives me $20 to go to a store and have fun with, I get me one thing and can’t help but buy all this stuff for other people I don’t even know hardly or for family. And then I wonder, I wished I used that $20 and got me that shirt I wanted or that poster, or the batteries I need. Well I’m going to end the rant about me now.
Anyhow, I’ve been playing Guitar Hero 3 like crazy. I beat easy level on the second day I had it and now I’m on medium level and it’s horrible!!!!! I can hardly keep up with everything I may love the color blue but the blue button is not my friend cause I keep screwing it up! And then just out of curiosity, I went to hard level just to see what it’s gonna take…well I wasn’t even in the beginning of the 1st song and I lost! I swear…I think I’m just happy with easy mode, lol.
Sometime next week I’m going down to Georgia again. I miss my best friend, Colin. I can talk about anything with him. I don’t what to bring down there to keep myself occupied while he’s at work though. So I’m just gonna bring along a few movies maybe and my guitar hero game and memory card.
My dad got himself a new girlfriend. She’s alright but it’s weird, you know. I never thought my parents would just slip away from each other. A long time ago I wanted a love like that. I remember how they gazed at each other and stuff. But now that he’s moved out and into his own house, I just remember watching their love just slip away. I remember that all my dad wanted to do was get high and get a drink or two and my mom would yell at him just to come sleep in the house. I remember when they just would start to fight cause his friends would rule the house. It’s just weird. Before we moved out to Arkansas it all seemed alright, but now ever since we lived in there everything slipped away. Sure I have friends there, friends I wouldn’t give for the world. sure my brother lives out there now…but it seems to me that when I moved there, that state ruined my life. It’s odd. Back then I thought they still be together, I’m happy that my parents are friends and such, but out there, we fell apart. But anyways, yeah… but he got himself a new girlfriend and he seems pretty happy. Her name is Sherry.
I originally was going to write about my trip and stuff and write about people, but I just wanted to rant. I wanted to come to terms about some things and writing helps me figure things out, so I’m gonna post this and if you read this far down, thanks for reading and I hope this didn’t take too much of your time. I’ll blog ya’ll later!

MangaChick18

Well I’m down in Georgia right now and I’m very confused.

Okay so I’m down here with my ex-boyfriend okay and he’s kissing me and feeling me up when I get here and and telling me how much he loves me and is in love with me. Okay. I still love this dude very much and I’m still in love with him cause he wasn’t only my best friend but my 1st as well. Understandable. But then later on he takes it to far when I tell him no cause I don’t want to do “it” he flips me around and does his business and later on I was happy to say the least I guess. And he’s telling me that he wants me back and he’s constantly saying I love you I love you I love you. He cried holding me because we wants me back so much and he’s so in love with me. But then yesterday after our episode the other night he tells me what he did was wrong and he’d rather remain friends with me and that broke my heart again cause I just love him so much but what am I supposed to think now after he did that? I told him no and he continued and now this? Can someone please tell me how I can just sit him down to listen to what I have to say cause I’m so confused and that makes me sad.

His mom told my mom that he has dual personalities and he has a really bad mean streak but whenever he gets really mad he looks at me and cheers up and is happy and there is nothing wrong. He’s never hit me or anything but his mom said he’s hit a girl before. it was his ex-girlfriend about 4 years ago and he grabbed her hair and such. He didn’t know her all to well, but I know him like the back of my hand. The girl that his sister says he has crush on is her best friend but he doesn’t. His mom said that she was goofing off and he slammed her up against the wall and told her to shut the fuck up and get out of the way and how he’s tired of seeing her ugly face in the house and such. He’s never done that to me. I’ve know him for 5 years now. He sees me and all seems right. His mom said he’s hell to live with and she feels sorry with whoever gets with him and she fears for them. I see nothing wrong when we’re together. He’s so gentle with me. I say ow he comes to kiss the wound. I say stop and he stops *not the other night though, he was like possessed* But for some reason I’m really IN love with him and I can’t see anyone else but him. I get butterflies and my heart aches just to hold him. I go weak in the knees. But what am I supposed to think after that night and after what his mom said. She said that sometimes he almost hit her and she’s scared. But someone please give me some advice, please? Thanks.

Hello there again! Well lets see what I can write down of whats going on right now….
Well I got a shopping spree from my mom. I got me an ipod. I gave my MP3 player to my niece with it full of songs. She’s so happy. I only hope that the music on there help her as it helped me *to calm my nerves down* Anways, I got me some boots, some pants, new sheets and a blanket, some movies. My mom got me a new bed *becuase my two cats sprayed and pissed all over my last one and I’ve had the old one for about 2 years…ugh….but now yay!*
Then I now have some new books. I love to read. It’s the few moments where I don’t have to think. I’m getting better at fractions. My teacher has taught me well. I can actually process and understand them. I guess when I took fractions the first time I was 11-12 and I think that teachers and stuff are teaching these kids all this stuff way too young and way too fast! But then again everyone is not like me.
Over the weekend I went to the big city, Asheville * to us mountain and town folk its big, lol*  But I went to this body and bath shop and in there you can make lotions, shower gel, bath salts, just about anything! I made me 2 lotions. What you do is go over and pick out the oils you would like in your lotion or whatever else you are interested in getting and then after you find the right mixture. Like for my lotion I chose honeydew, honeysuckle, and jasmine. Oh it smells so good!!! And then you get to pick what color you want your lotion! I chose blue and green of course. But I made my mom one after she smelled mine and her lotion was a light purple-lilac color. I can’t wait to go back to that store. I loved it. And they have fortune cookie soaps! I got a few of them.
I going to get my hair done tomorrow or the next day. Its going to be like a brown-auburn color with purple highlights. Oh I can’t wait!!!!! ^o^
Then on Sunday I’m going to Georgia to my ex boyfriend’s house. Yay. But I don’t mind he’s my bestest friend in the whole world but when romance gets involved…we can’t help ourselves I guess you can say.
Then then this past Sunday I also got both of my upper ears pierced. Determined I guess….I also got me some candles and incense.
I’ve been drawing more. I guess it takes away the stress. One time I remember I went for months without drawing anything and when I finally did it came out to be the scariest thing I’ve ever seen so I burned it as part of my stress reliever cause I didn’t want my stress in the picture to hold me back.
My room mate is going away to a boarding school…I’m going to miss her cause she kinda is always there…like glue. She never leaves and now that I know that she is leaving I don’t know how to comprehend that. I’m in North Carolina. She is going all the way up to Vermont…don’t know really. Guess I’m not trying to think about it and go with the flow. But when it comes down to it, I know she is leaving and nothing is stopping her from going to that school. I know it will be good for her but I don’t know.  The calm before the storm maybe?
But other than that, nothing else new to report. So I’ll take a break from blogging and go to bed. I’ll blog ya’ll later!

Hi everyone! Well as my user name states I like manga. But anyways…I’m new on here. A friend showed me this site and I love to blog.
I had to limit my blogging though because I’d always blog on myspace.com, but then not soon after my 30 or so blogs family came on and started hiding behind the scenes reading them and then I would get in trouble for saying what I believe and think. I enjoy writing as it expresses myself alot. I seem to find out more about “ME” when I write. If anyone wants to soul search just write.Trust me. Does wonders.

Lets see…I have a family that I love but seem to get in so many problems and fights with on a stupid basis. I have a brother who owns a quartz crystal mine, he’s a hard worker and a power seller on ebay. Then I have a sister who has 5 kids, a husband, a great job, a broken down car. Her kids are 13, 11, 6, 3, and 2. I have a mom and dad. They are divorced. I live with my mom who makes sure things are her business but is really sweet and stubborn. She’s a writing a book that she hopes to sell soon. My dad lives in a rick shack house. He’s a rock hound, chain-smoker, loves roughing it in the wild type of guy. He’s crazy. My mom is a new age spiritual guide who sells quartz crystal around the east side of America. My dad is a wiccan who thinks he knows everything and will never admit to being wrong. To him there is only a black and a white. No grey. Me? I’m just spiritual. I don’t go to a church. I do believe there is a god.

In the black and white issue…I am the grey. I’m laid back, care-free, quiet, I love video games, I love to draw Japanese animation and of course write. If something happens, it happens. Change will always come, everywhere you look there is change. Thats me.

Anyways…I have two room mates, Mary is 38 and her niece, Krystal, who is 16. Mary’s father just passed away and she’s making sure everyone knows it. She can talk your head off. If there was a battle where you’d win by talking…I’d shove Mary onto the battlefield. She’s sweet in her own way though. Her niece, Krystal, is one of my best friends. Though I’ll admit, she can be annoying, but isn’t everyone? Krystal is a juggalette who loves Insane Clown Posse *the band* She dresses like a boy. You hardly ever see her without a hat. Next month she’s going to a boarding school up in Vermont. I’ll miss her. She’s like a pest you can’t get rid of and when they are gone you end up missing the pest. Isn’t that ironic?

My grandparents play a part in my blogs too. My Grandpa, who is a famous fly fisherman, Lefty Kreh and his wife Evelyn. Grandpa is hilarious. He’s always writing a new book. He loves to eat at Bob Evans. He’s the kind of guy who’s never been in a McDonald’s *until last year with me*. My grandma is stubborn and headstrong, yet kind and sweet. She loves Dove Ice Cream bars. She loses things alot and she loves to gamble. She loves the finer things in life. I love my grandparents a whole lot. Lefty and Evelyn are my mom’s parents. My dad’s parents…well…my ‘Pa passed away when I was four and my dad hasn’t gotten over it yet and now I’m 18. And there is my dad’s mom….My evil grandmother….every family has to have an evil relative…well with mine…its her. Enough said.

Then there’s my friends…there’s Mary B. and Brandon who have been there for me since I was a kid and I trust them with my life. With friends like them, I can say I’m rich! Then there’s my ex boyfriend who is my number one best friend of all time…Colin…We met through our moms’ who were best friends since they were teenagers. We met 4 years ago. Colin and I are exactly alike in every way possible…but different. After a few months after we met we fell in love. He fixed my door so I can shut and lock it and I gave him a kiss in the cheek without realizing it…well ever since then we never each others side. Then before Christmas of 2005 we broke up cause we lived 6 hours away and it was really putting a strain on our relationship especially since my mom had to drive me down to see him all the time and my mom was totally against it even though she didn’t mind. And when I could come down to see him, his mom didn’t want any company * his passed away when he was 13*. So our families broke us apart. Then in April 2007 we started to go out again and before my 18th birthday he was going to come up and visit me. Well 3 days before my birthday he broke up with me cause he said he couldn’t be the type of man that could travel to see me…yeah…Then…in September 2007 we tried to go out again cause deep down you can tell just by looking at us that we are still madly in love…so we tried it again…only to my dismay to find out that he refuses to tell his family about us even though he’s 20. So before Valentines Day he breaks up with me again cause it’s too much to call me, work 5 days a week, support his mom, and help take care of his sister’s kids who lives with him. So once again I had a bad holiday…Now next week my mom wants go down to visit his mom and I have to come so I’m spending St. Patrick’s day with him. Another holiday…yay…

So all of these people I mentioned I just got you acquainted with cause I blog about my life and they are constantly in it. So now that you met. Now I can really blog and get started. Please enjoy and have a nice day! ^_^

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